Proof that we never grow up:
"Is that cream style corn?" Mrs. A asked as she poked the vegetable with her fork.
"No, it's regular," I said as I uncovered her drinks and dessert.
She scooped up a few kernels, chewed them thoughtfully and then spit them out.
"Well, now it is," she said.
Proof that we can be happy anywhere:
The other day I walked by Mrs. B's room and heard a voice, but no one was in there. Thinking the TV was on, I walked in to turn it off. But it wasn't on. So, I advanced further into the room and peeked into the bathroom. There sat Mrs. B, on the toilet, singing away. I decided to just slip out without letting her know I had heard her.
Proof that we still think we're funny:
"Do you got a dry pocket?" Mr. C asked me as he moved slowly from the dining room.
"Yes, do you need me to hold something for you?" I answered.
"No, I need to pee and I don't know if I'm gonna make it to the bathroom."
Proof that we always think we're a catch:
"Mr. D," I said, taking his hand. "This is the ladies hall. If you go down there, they'll be yelling, 'There's a man out there!'" I turned him around and headed him in the other direction.
"They might be yelling, 'Send another!'"