...and I shouldn't have to do something if I don't want to!"
And he shouldn't, as far as I'm concerned. If I don't want to take a bath, I don't. If I'm not hungry, I don't eat. Deciding where to draw the lines is an ongoing process. Everyday a resident teaches me something.
If a resident is a danger to himself or others, those decisions are easy. If I'm offering to help a resident to bed just because I have time at that moment, but they don't want to go, that's easy for me, too. They don't have to go until they're ready.
But what about the resident who doesn't eat well in their room, but finishes at least half their meal if they go to the dining room? They don't want to go, but their health may decline if they don't. One solution might be to sit in their room with them while they eat, but that's rarely possible. My ten minutes in the Twilight Zone with no call lights has only happened once. I'd need at least twenty minutes to make an effective stab at this. It's hard to know how to help without being overly intrusive.
When I'm 89, I think I'll take the advice I got from one of the ladies last night while my partner and I were helping her to bed. She didn't want to be moved from her chair and she looked at me and said, "Tell that s.o.b. to go to hell."